Years ago, the mom of a friend of mine told him, “I may not always like you, but I will always love you.”  She was referring to her unconditional love for her son and letting him know that even when he does something wrong, her love will not stop. That quote stuck with me, and I have used it often with people in my own life.  Sometimes I use it with my kids or husband or even friends because as a disciple of Jesus, I am called to love above all else.
 
Jesus said in Matthew 22:37 that to love God with all of our heart, soul and mind is the greatest commandment, and to love others is the second most important commandment.  Think about it.  He was saying that love is more important than the 10 commandments and all the other laws that were established at that time.   So, when someone breaks a law or a rule or a standard, if we truly love them, we can love them through the error.  We can dislike the action, the mistake, the choice, but we can still love the person.  Is this easy to do?  Not always.  I have to work at it, especially with adults, because my expectations of adults (including myself) are often disappointed.  But it really helps to chant a little mantra in my head when someone has wronged me in some way or done something to be reprimanded.  “Love the person, dislike the action, love the person.”
 
It also helps remind my kids that my love for them is not based on their performance or actions or choices.  I love them.  Period.  I tell them often that I love them even when I am mad at them.  I’ve said it so much to my son that he will quote it before I do.  I think that’s good.  I think it helps him get past the mistake quicker because he knows he starts fresh with me every time.  I still love him no matter what he does.  I hope that little mantra pops up in his head when he feels guilty for doing something wrong.  “Mom loves me even though I made a bad choice.”   “Mom loves me even though I hurt her feelings.”  Sure, I also want the little words “bad choice, bad choice” to pop up when he is going down the wrong path, but words of love are ultimately more important than that.  Don’t you want to please God because he loves you so much?  Don’t you want to follow the path that will help you live up to God’s plan for you?  I do.  And every time I feel undeserving of that love, I remind myself, “God loves me even though I feel unworthy.“   “God loves me.”