I told my daughter to be resourceful today.  She was trying to solve a small problem, and I wanted her to know that she could figure it out without me telling her what to do.  I value resourcefulness.  I want my kids to be able to find the answers when they need them.  I want them to be able to fix just about anything with duct tape.  I want them to learn independence.
 
Did you know that this idea of raising kids to be independent would be blasphemous in many other parts of the world?  From industrialized nations to Third World countries, the children are taught to cling to their mother and father even after marriage.  When I was in graduate school, we discussed this a lot in my child development classes.  Because depending on your train of thought, the teaching of independence starts with infants.  Do you put them in the crib and let them cry it out, or do you hold them until they fall asleep?  Do you put them in a preschool when they are three years old or keep them at home until they are in Kindergarten?  Some fellow classmates said America has gone too far in its quest for independence.  We pass it on like it is a prize for our children.  We get far away from our families as soon as we are adults.  We live on streets where we may not know the name of our next-door neighbor.  We are strong.  We are independent.  We can do it ourselves.
 
I do think some of those in my child development classes may have been right to a certain extent.  We can become too independent.  We can come to think that we don’t need anyone else.  In fact, we may take pride in how little we need others.  But those of us who follow Christ must learn interdependence as well.  God created us to be in relationship.  He created us to love Him and to love others.  God wants us to act out our faith with our neighbors.  He calls us to love them as much as ourselves.  He wants us to work through the messiness of friendships and sibling rivalries and dysfunctional families because that is when God can do his work.  When we can’t solve problems on our own, we can literally depend on God.  He can take any relationship and work through it for good if we let him.  But that means letting people in, seeking out friendships, repairing damaged relationships and not being quite so independent.  So, while you are teaching your child the 500 uses for duct tape, be sure to also teach him the 500 ways he can lean on you.  Remind him how much you lean on your spouse or friends or family members.  Show him how you reach out to help others around you.  Talk about how blessed you are to have friends and neighbors and relationships with those who care about you and you can count on when in need.  And remind your child that he should never be so independent that he forgets to depend on God.