I often talk with parents about discipline issues concerning their children.  While each situation is different and we often have to try various methods with our children, the number one piece of advice I give to parents is to be immediate and consistent in their discipline.  Most parents nod their head and say, “I know, I should try to be more consistent.”  So, why are we not as consistent as we know we should be?
 
Parenting is hard. It takes work to enforce rules, talk through situations and follow through on consequences.  Let’s face it – sometimes we’re just tired.  We don’t feel like reminding our child to pick up their toys one more time.  It’s easier to take their plate to the kitchen than to ask them to do it again.  It’s less stressful to let them watch TV than to enforce a rule and bear the crying and tantrum that will follow. I am a parent too, I get it.  But here’s the deal – if you put a little extra work in up front, it is actually easier later.  Anytime a line is crossed, be immediate in the consequence.  Not only will the consequence be more effective, it will also send the message that you mean business.
 
In order to make this work, rules must be clear and understood in your home.  Have a few major rules that you enforce at all times.  Examples might be:  show respect for others at all times, always tell the truth and respect our home.  Or you can use the Ten Commandments to create your house rules.  I do not recommend standard consequences for each broken rule because you need the freedom to adapt to the situation and the child.  While one child may respond to a stern voice and reprimand, another may need to have privileges taken away.  When the rules are clear in your home, you do not have to give warnings.  A warning just tells a child that you may not mean what you say.  I know it seems harsh, but kids crave boundaries.  Clear rules and immediate consequences without warnings give them a sense of safety.  Harshness comes in how you deal with them, so keep your anger in check and give them respect in how you deal with them.  But if your children know that you mean what you say with regards to rules, they will know they can trust you in all matters.  As they get older, that level of trust will help you navigate difficult times with a relationship based on mutual trust and respect.
 
Pray over this idea and ask God to give you strength, wisdom and discernment.  If your children are old enough to understand, sit them down and tell them you are changing some things in how you parent because you love them.  Give them the house rules, talk about what they mean and let them know that you will not give warnings.  You can do it!  This extra work now will save hours of work down the road!