Most children, like us, have given others the power to shape their self-perception.  The need for praise trains kids to see themselves through others’ eyes.  The problem with this is that others’ images will be inconsistent at best and wrong or hurtful at worst.  And as a result, children don’t develop a Christ-centered self-esteem.
 
A child with high self-esteem will work happily alone, be responsible, tolerate frustration, accept new challenges and display a broad range of emotions.
 
A child with low self-esteem will make self-demeaning comments, feel insecure about others’ opinions of him or her, blame others for personal weaknesses, be easily influenced by others and avoid situations that produce anxiety.
 
What can we do to develop a faith-based self-esteem in our children?  We all have certain inadequacies we must deal with, but while beliefs based on others’ praise may vary from day to day, God’s views remain constant.  Therefore, for a child to have a Christian self-concept, that child must see him or herself from God’s viewpoint.
 
God created all of us in His image.  This means we have all of God’s potential in us.  We were created to be beautiful, loving, compassionate, funny, creative, strong people.  God always sees the best in us.  He sees what we can be and continues to guide us in that direction.  We are human, and we make mistakes.  But God loves us so much He quickly forgives and says get back to being the beautiful person I created!  God does not base his opinion of us on our performance; He bases it on Himself because we were created to be like Him.
 
Let children know how God views them.  Say things such as, “You are special to God” or “The Bible says God loves you so much that He has counted every hair on your head!”  Celebrate each child’s God-given strengths.  When a child displays his or her gifts, point the child to the giver.  Say something like, “I thank God for giving you your beautiful voice.”
 
Teach children to persevere.  If a child has difficulty with a problem, don’t jump in and save the day.  Pray with the child for guidance.  Then ask questions to help the child think of solutions.  And remind them that God made us to need each other.  So, while you might be good at one thing, your friends might be good at something else.  Tell them it is okay to not be great at everything.  Teach them to appreciate others’ gifts and abilities by pointing out your own strengths and weaknesses.
 
As children grasp that their worth is not rooted in how they perform but in their relationship with God and what God says about them, they’ll truly develop positive self-esteem.  And their feelings about themselves won’t be subject to what others think of them.